


Yugi's Birthday Trip to Burger World

by yugimoto



Series: Yami Kills Grandpa [3]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Eventual Romance, Gen, Humor, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yugimoto/pseuds/yugimoto
Summary: It's Yugi's 18th birthday! Too bad his Grandpa has to ruin it, as per usual. Will Yugi's sweaty grandpa push him to his limits this time? Will Yami finally kill him? Third part of the "Yami Kills Grandpa" series.
Relationships: Mutou Yuugi/Yami Yuugi
Series: Yami Kills Grandpa [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842424
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	1. Grandpa ruins Yugi's birthday

The warm summer’s breeze rustled Yugi’s spikey tri-colored hair as he yanked the door open. He was going to leave his grandfather’s disgusting shop. For once, fate was on his side, and his eighteenth birthday was on a Saturday where he didn’t have school. He looked down at his Millennium Puzzle which hosted his best friend and occasional adversary. Yes, they’d learned his real name, and yes he was supposed to go to the afterlife, but they decided to just run away from their problems and go back to the status quo. Téa had no complaints on the matter. Neither did Joey or Tristan. Even “Yami” was okay with it.

But his plans were halted when a meaty hand grabbed his wrist. Yugi cringed, fighting a strong feeling of nausea. _Grandpa._

“YUUUUUUUUGI! Where do you think you are going?” He roared. Stinky, putrid breath suffocated Yugi, and he struggled to breathe. _Yami...help…_

There was no response from the former pharoah.

_Bastard._

“I’m going out to celebrate my birthday,” Yugi said through gritted teeth. He clenched his jaw, hoping that his answer would make his grandpa release his sweaty death-grip on his wrist. 

“Oh, _splendid_!” His grandpa cheered. “Where are we going, grandson?”

“Grandpa...don’t you have to run the game shop?”

Solomon flipped the open sign to closed. “Not anymore, Yugi! I am so excited. I forgot it was your birthday. How old are you again? Thirteen?”

“No, damnit! I’m an adult now. A real legal adult! And to celebrate I’m getting my favorite food with my friends.” _And then we’re going to get trashed at the male strip club._ Yami chuckled from inside the puzzle. Yugi blushed. 

**_You’re a slut, Yugi._ **

“I know.” Yugi said.

“What?” Grandpappi asked. 

“NO, Grandpa! You’re not invited! I tried to be polite, but you just can’t take the damn hint! Go back to your day job! We’re in debt as it is.”

Solomon grabbed his other wrist in response and pinned him against the glass door. 

“YUUUUUUUGI! Your grandpa has no social life because of you, and anyway your friends like me! I hung out with them in the duel city in Domino while you were off making love to your imaginary boyfriend.”

“Grandpa, it was called _Battle_ City.”

**_That’s what you choose to correct?_ **

“Anyway, I am coming with you. Does it matter that you are turning thirteen? No. I tried to nurse you when you were a baby, Yugi. You teethed my nipples very hard. It may not have worked well, but you will be prepubescent forever.”

“Yeah, Grandpa, my doctor thinks it’s because of malnutrition, that’s why I’d rather—”

Grandpa Mutou grabbed his grandson by the ear and dragged him out of the shop.

_Yami? Hello?_

**_This seems like a family matter…_ **

_Fuck you, Pharaoh! You’re not getting anything later!_

**_I don’t like burgers._ **

_That’s not what I….whatever._

* * *

Soon they arrived at the Burger World. Yugi’s ear was bleeding, drenched in his grandpappi’s sweat, and now there was a blood stain on his white shirt which he was wearing under his uniform jacket. 

“ _Yugi,_ ” Joey scolded. “ _Why_ are you wearing your school uniform? It’s Saturday.” 

Yugi blushed. “I...My three other outfits got thrown away by _somebody_ who will remain nameless.”

“Oh, quit being dramatic, grandson. You wet your baby starlight pajamas last night.”

“ _Grandpa!_ I didn’t wet my pajamas!” Yugi shrieked. “You spilled your hot toddy all over me in the middle of the night! Why were you in my room?”

“I want to be the mind crush pharoah! I want the Millenium Puzzle powers for my own needs! _I’m_ the one who found it, Yugi!”

**_I don’t want to be around that man’s greasy neck all day, Yugi…_ **

“Fuck off, Grandpa! Either order some food or leave us alone.” Yugi grasped his puzzle protectively. 

Yugi’s friends stared uncomfortably. They knew this day was going to be a disaster when they saw his grandpa waddling across the street. 

Suddenly, Grandpappi gasped in excitement.

“YUUUUUUUUUGI! They have the shamrock shaaaaaake!!” he shrieked in joy.

“Damnit, Grandpa! It’s June! Why would they have—” He stood corrected as he looked at the sign. 

**_Oh, Ra….he’s right, They do have those shamrock shakes, Yugi! You know what that means…._ **

_Oh no. He’s going to turn on Luck of the Irish the second we get home! I can’t deal with this, Yami! I want more lap dances. Not stupid Kyle and Seamus dueling over a stupid necklace._

**_Yugi, I don’t understand—how are Kyle and Seamus any different from us?_ **

_Shut up, Yami! I just don’t want to watch this movie for the 30th time this month with my fatass Grandfather!_

**_Don’t you mean Grandah?_ **

“Fuck off!” Yugi screamed aloud. Tristan started to cry.

“But, Yugi….I just wanted to know if you also wanted a shamrock shake.”

“NO!” Yugi cried. “NO, I do _not_ want that….that…..stupid shake abonimation! We’re supposed to be Japanese or maybe American….why the fuck are they serving shamrock shakes in JUNE?”

“Okay, two shamrock shakes and I’ll get you your happy meal.” Grandpa nodded.

“What the... _Grandpa!_ I didn’t say I wanted a stupid happy meal! Are you kidding me!”

But, it was too late for little Yugi. Grandpa was already waddling away like an obese penguin. His friends were silent, knowing exactly as to what was going to happen. 

“Erm…” Tristan mumbled. “Happy Birthday, Yuge.”

Drops of grease were coming from his disgusting beard. The cashier had to leave immediately by the monstrosity that was waddling before him.

“Grandpa, wait!” Yugi shouted, running towards the cashier with his short legs. “Please, _please_ order me the _usual!_ ”

“Okay, my little grandson,” the sweaty Solomon smiled, patting his hair. “I’ll order you the usual, for the strong, growing thirteen year old boy.”

“Grandpa! I’m _eighteen!_ ”

“Do you want your damn meal or not?”

“Ugh... _fine!_ ” Yugi stormed off back towards his friends. He slumped into the booth, groaning. “My Grandpa ruins everything!”

“Don’t worry, Yuge!” Tristan smiled obnoxiously. “You’re getting your usual meal now! What is it anyway?”

“A double Quarter Pounder with cheese and an extra large Diet Coke to reduce calories.”

“Yugi…” Joey cut in. “If that’s your usual...how are you still puny?”

Yugi growled. “Because _usually_ someone drags me away before I can even eat two bites of it! I want to eat my damn burger this time!”

**_Yugi...I only dragged you away that one time! I thought I saw a card on the floor._ **

_Yami….that was a napkin, and usually it’s my grandpa. I wasn’t even talking about you. Just shut up. Stay in your fucking puzzle._

**_Oh, is that how it is now? I surrender my life and hopes of finally moving on to be with my loved ones from my past life to become your pet spirit for all eternity and this is how you treat me? Okay, Yugi. I’ll stay inside my ‘fucking puzzle’. Be ready to die._ **

_Die?_

There was no answer. Yugi frowned. This cannot be good. He awkwardly twiddled his thumbs, waiting for his burger. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so harsh on the pharaoh. After all, he had saved his life multiple times, not to mention the lives of his loved ones. And also, he was an all-powerful spirit. Pissing him off in general couldn’t be a good idea. He had a very high body count. And not the kind of a sexual nature.

“Did you guys get me any birthday gifts or what?”

“Oh, yeah!” Tristan slapped Yugi in the face with a present. “Happy Birthday baby boy!”

Yugi ignored him and anxiously tore off the present before him. It was a pack of none other than socks. Fucking _socks._ Not to mention the fact that they were toddler-sized. Even _Yugi’s_ little feet were too big for these. 

“ _SOCKS?!_ What the hell, Tristan! What kind of birthday gift is this?”

“Well, the male strip club fired me after they discovered I was underage, so I’ve been short on cash…” he trailed off, laughing uncomfortably.

“Who cares? It’s _my_ eighteenth birthday!”

Joey grasped Tristan’s hand. “Yuge, you’re gonna hurt his feelings,” he paused. “Here, Yuge. I got this for ya. Hope it’s the right size!”

Yugi opened his gift with excitement. However, his dreams of the perfect gift were dashed away. He pulled out a onesie from the bag. It was a toddler onesie. The life was drained out of Yugi’s eyes. How could this birthday get worse? 

“OHHHHH YUUUUUUUUUUUGI!” 

Yugi couldn’t pull the strength to turn around to see what his horrible grandpa was up to. The sound of his grandpa’s shoes squeaking on the floor due to the grease tracks he left on the floor filled the entire room. Everyone in the restaurant turned and looked at this obese, sweating man with disgust, as he rushed towards Yugi’s table. “Look at what I brought you!” 

“Oh, you’ve got to be freakin’ kidding me... _GRANDPA!_ That’s a happy meal!”

“Yes it is, Grandson!” Grandpappi glowered down at Yugi. “But you don’t look very _happy._ ”

“I wanted real food this time, Stupid Grandpa! Why does everyone here suck?”

His friends uncomfortably glanced towards the seething Yugi. “Um, Yugi…” Joey awkwardly asked, “why don’t you relax…”

“Téa! What did you get me for my birthday?”

“Oh? Here, Yugi! I hope you, ah, enjoy it! It’s not clothing, this time…”

“This better be good…” Yugi grumbled, tearing up the wrapping paper. Inside of the box was a blue baby rattle.

“What the fuck! Téa, are you serious?”

“I thought you would like to rattle this at night for when you wet your baby starlight pajamas….”

“Fuck you, Téa! This is the worst birthday ever!” 

“Your grandpa told me you wanted it...I thought maybe it was an inside joke…”

“Dammit, Grandpappi! Did you tell all of my friends to buy baby items for my birthday?”

“Of course! Anything for my grandson! Now, let’s eat!” he munched on his double triple Quarter Pounder with cheese, and slurped his very own, extra large shamrock shake.

Yugi picked at his happy meal. His friends looked down at their laps. The disgusting sounds of his grandpa’s chewing was off-putting to say the least. He sounded like an elderly goat. _Why?_ Why did his grandpa have to ruin what could be his last birthday to spend with all of his friends? Supposedly, Téa would be in America next year, and who knows where Tristan and Joey would be. Jail, probably! He just wanted _one_ pleasant birthday. Why did his grandpa have to ruin each one more and more with every passing year? 

Solomon, through chomps, said, “ _Yuuuugi,_ are you enjoying your prize?” He sounded like an elderly goat chewing a tin can. Yugi wanted to kick him in the shins so badly, but he knew they wouldn’t be able to afford another hospital bill.

Instead, he bit out a, “Sure.” He breathed in dangerously deep. _Think of the ocean,_ he told himself. “Are you all enjoying your meals?” He remembered that he was supposed to actually care about these people.

Joey was making a tower out of his french fries, and Tristan was eating without using his hands. Téa was just looking at her food. 

“ _Yuuuuugi,”_ Grandpa said, spitting some of his burger onto Yugi’s face. He wiped his sweat from his forehead, flicking the sweat onto the table. Yugi’s friends grimaced. “After we eat, I need you to close and clean the Game Shop tonight…”

“ _What!_ Grandpa, you closed the Game Shop early so you could ruin my birthday dinner! I’m not cleaning your damn Game Shop, I’m going to the _strip club!”_

Grandpa gasped. “The _strip club?_ Yugi, my grandson, this is nothing like you!”

“Grandpa, do you pay any attention at all? I go there every weekend! But the difference is that now I can use my real ID. I won’t, of course, because the bouncer knows my face now and probably will be mad, but…” He realized he was incriminating himself.

“Gross, Yugi! I thought you were better than that! Sexualizing women in that way.” Téa scolded. 

“The _male_ strip club, Téa.” Yugi grumbled.

“ _Ohhhh!_ Why don’t you ever bring me, then?”

Yugi hissed at the entire table. He shoveled down the rest of his meal and ran out of the restaurant. He was done with his birthday. He was going to run away. 


	2. Grandpa vs. Season 0 Yami

Ten yards away from Burger World, Yugi doubled over in pain, panting. He was sure that if he were on speaking terms with Yami, he’d be insulting his lack of physical ability right now. Or his short legs. Or...well Yami could be really creative with his insults. Strangely, he missed it. So he insulted himself.

“Why do you suck at everything, Yugi? Why can't your short stubby legs move any faster than this? Why do you look like you’re thirteen still? What the fuck!!”

People stopped in their tracks and stared at him. This time, Yugi was really talking to himself. He was used to the odd looks at this point. Nobody had bothered to come after him—if they had, they’d have already caught up with him. Sadly he continued on his aimless path, this time walking.

“Hello, Yugi!” It was Ryou Bakura. He was wearing a stupid blue-and-white striped shirt.

_Oh for fuck’s sake._ “Hey…”

“Lovely day! Isn’t it your birthday?”

“Yes...it is.” He gritted his teeth. 

“Oh, Yugi. Why do you look so downcast?”

“It’s because of my _stupid_ —oh, what’s the point, anyway? What the hell do you even want?”

Bakura gasped in surprise. “Why, Yugi! I don’t think I deserve your anger at this moment.”

Rage bubbled up from Yugi’s chest. He was literally shaking. He tried to picture the ocean to control his breathing, but that reminded him of the time Mako Tsunami had slept over in Solomon’s bed. Turns out that freaky fish guy was _really_ freaky. 

“You...I... _AGHHH,_ Fuck you, Bakura! I can’t deal with my shitty life anymore. I didn’t ask for you to say hello in your stupid British accent and to wish me happy fucking thirteenth birthday!” Yugi seethed. He clenched his fists and willed himself to run down the next side street.

“Bloody hell, Yugi. What’s gotten into you?” Ryou said to nobody.

* * *

Yugi threw himself onto the sidewalk. He sobbed, his tears marking the concrete. _Yami, come home. Please. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t go home and watch Luck of the Irish. I’m tired of Duel Monsters. I’m tired of people calling me prepubescent, and I know I’ll never even graduate high school considering I never go to school._

Yugi wheezed an inhale. He was so exhausted from running five blocks. No wonder he was failing gym. He pounded his fists onto the sidewalk, pain surging up his arm. Then, he stood up again. “Yami...please...I’m sorry...I’m sorry I made you run away too.” 

A man kicked him in the stomach. “Get off the sidewalk, stupid kid!” He walked away.

“I’m in high school!” Yugi cried, but he stood up anyway, grasping his new wound. Even his hands were scabbing from where he struck the sidewalk. He thought he was over being used as a human punching bag by strangers. But evidently not. “That’s it...I think I really can’t go on anymore.” Just as he was about to commit to a plan, a voice interrupted him.

**_Yugi..._ ** Yami sighed in exasperation through their mind link, albeit his tone was a tad more gentle than usual. **_You cannot torture yourself with suicidal ideation because of your obese grandfather. I believe...that’s what he would want._ **

_Gee,_ Yugi pouted, _Way to make me feel better._

**_Oh, don’t even start with me—Yugi! Look at yourself! You’re sobbing in the middle of the sidewalk! You’re supposed to be King of Games, not King of Lames! Or Shames! I am ashamed, Yugi. This is even humiliating for me. Pick yourself up and go challenge your grandfather to a shadow game._ **

_Yami...you have his de—_

**_A shadow game that isn’t Duel Monsters! Remember? Oh, I guess it’s foggy for you._ **

_Yes, I know what you did to all of those people. We can’t actually kill my grandpa, though. How many times do we have to have this conversation?_

**_That’s fine, Yugi. We could just emotionally torment him instead, causing extreme psychological damage. Only if he cheats, however._ **

_Yami—_

**_Yugi! He deserves it. Look at yourself! Where do you think your emotional trauma came from?_ **

_I—Yami! Are you listening in on my therapy appointments again?_

**_Yugi, our souls are connected; we have a mind link, for Ra’s sake!_ **

_That’s a total invasion of my privacy! Ugh!_

**_Yugi, I am bombarded with your trauma on a daily basis! I should be participating in these sessions as well. AGH, anyway. Let’s go back. I’ll even run for you. Those short legs of yours, ah ha ha ha!_ **

With a flash of light, Yami took over the body. 

_Yami, this all feels really familiar to me. Didn’t we try to duel my grandpa multiple times already?_

Yami ignored him. He swished Yugi’s jacket off and wore it as if it were a cape. 

“I love when you wear this jacket, Yugi. It makes a fine cape.” He said under his breath.

_It’s gonna get wrinkled again! Ugh._

Yami ignored him and sprinted towards the restaurant. He then kicked down the door. _“Solomon!_ ” he roared. “It is time to _finish_ this, once and for all!”

“Sir,” a waiter frowned, “this is a Burger World—“

_"MIND CRUSH!"_

The waiter screamed in pain as Yami obliterated his mind. He brushed past the absolutely petrified customers, charging towards the one and only Solomon Muto.

Solomon brushed his grease from his mouth with his meaty hand; his razor burned lips were also stained green from the multiple shamrock shakes he consumed. “Ah, has the _Pharaoh_ returned?” he rolled his eyes. “My pathetic grandson has to rely on his boyfriend for help, yet again….”

Yami grasped the stained fabric of Solomon’s shirt. He growled. “ _You’re_ the reason he’s so pathetic, and you know it. Once you’re exterminated like the vermin that you are the world will be a much better place.” Yami took this moment to stare down every patron and employee in the restaurant.

“Yuge...you’re making a big scene again.” Joey said. 

“It is my turn to give Yugi a birthday present.” Yami said, fire in his eyes. “It’s _game_ time.”

“NO!” Solomon screamed. “Why should I—?”

“If you win my game, I will buy you another—what is it called—shamrock shake.”

“Fine, damnit. Make it quick!”

The Burger World seemed to disappear and suddenly, he and Solomon were alone in the dark. Yami knew just what game to play. Solomon was going to pay dearly for bringing Yugi to tears once again. He hadn’t done one of his punishment games in so long, and he could feel his dark powers intoxicating him. Grinning, he faced the old man.

“These are the rules: before us are two Yugis. Yugi’s true soul is in one of these two bodies, and in the other body is a fake. You will ask four questions, and if you cannot figure out which one is your grandson by the end of the game, you lose.”

“What happens if I lose?” Solomon stomped his foot.

“I will not buy you the shamrock shake.”

The greasy man growled. “Fine, Pharaoh. Let’s play.” He waddled over so that he was in front of the two Yugi’s. “HMMMM...Let’s see…” he sucked the remaining frothy shake residue off of his finger. “How old is my little grandson turning today?”

One of the two Yugis then responded: “Thirteen, Grandpa.”

“Hmm…” Solomon patted his belly, turning towards the other Yugi. “Well?”

“Eighteen! I am _eighteen,_ Grandpa!”

Solomon then roared with laughter. “Clearly, this is the fake Yugi! My grandson turned 13 today.”

Yami tsked. “Are you positive, Solomon? You still have three more questions.” He grinned like a Cheshire cat.

“Very well,” Grandpa glared at the spirit. “I will ask three more stupid questions.” He then paused. “What is Grandpop’s favorite meal from iHop?”

_"Solomon,"_ Yami hissed. “You’re supposed to ask questions about _Yugi,_ not _yourself!_ ”

“Only the _real_ Yugi knows Grandpop’s favorite meal from iHop!” he roared. “Answer me, dammit!”

One Yugi responded: “A full stack of pancakes.”

The other Yugi then responded: “ _Anything_ I decide to order, _you_ will eat! This is a trick question!”

Solomon frowned. “Oh, now this game is truly becoming a little more challenging…”

“Are you—are you _serious,_ Grandpa!”

“I do enjoy a full stack of pancakes…” the greasy man muttered to himself. “Next question. Is my grandson a homosexual?”

_"GRANDPA!"_

Yami chuckled quietly to himself. “Ah, interesting question, Solomon…”

Both of the Yugis glared at the spirit. “Grandpa, you _know_ I go to the male strip club. What the _hell_ do you think?”

“Answer my question!”

“I…” The Yugi who was obviously the real Yugi paused. “No...I’m not gay.”

Yami turned towards that Yugi, a surprisingly questionable look on his face.

“I’m not gay, Grandpa...I’m bisexual.”

Grandpa snorted. “That’s clearly not true. Next question—“

“You didn’t even hear the other Yugi’s response!”

“I don’t care! Next question!”

Yami shook his head. He didn’t expect that the game would be this much of a disaster. He half expected Solomon to lose, but the fact that he couldn’t even tell based on these answers was disturbing.

“Okayyyy….” Solomon said. 

“Remember, Solomon,” Yami whispered. “This is your final question. I advise to think _carefully_.” His crimson eyes, boring into Solomon’s soul, made the man begin to sweat profusely.

“Umm…” Solomon laughed nervously, “It surely is _warm_ in here…” He removed his jacket, revealing his shirt was drenched in sweat. The white fabric was turning yellow, and a literal stench filled the mystical realm Yami brought them to.

“This is quite...the absolute worst Shadow Game I have ever initiated,” Yami muttered to himself, the putrid stench nearly suffocating the spirit. “Ask the question, Solomon, before your stench kills me for a second time.”

“Okay,” Solomon flapped his sweaty arms, revealing the large yellow stains. 

“Dear Ra…”

Grandpa stepped towards the two Yugis, and paused. Suddenly, he roared:

_"ARE YOU_ YUUUUUUUGGGIIIIIIIIII?”

“YES, DAMNIT! Are you kidding me?” The one on his right said.

“No!” Said the one on his left.

Yami looked at Solomon. He was fairly impressed that he had the brain capacity to ask the most obvious question. And then any sense of positivity he felt towards the man disappeared as he chose the one on the left. 

“It’s this one!” Solomon screamed. 

“NO, GRANDPA! Oh my gods.” The real Yugi cried. The fake Yugi disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“Is it you?” Solomon asked Yami.

“No, Solomon. It is not me. It’s him.”

“I WANT THE POWERS OF THE PHARAOH!” Solomon screamed, grabbing the Millennium Puzzle. 

“Oh that was a big mistake, Grandpa.” The real Yugi said as his partner’s eyes caught fire.

“The doors of darkness have opened.”

“Oh no! Yuuuugi, close the door immediately you worthless toad!” 

Yugi stared as his grandfather screamed. He collapsed onto the ground, sobbing and sweating profusely.

_"No!_ Yugi, get _away_ from me!” Solomon rolled around in his own sweat, ripping off his clothing.

“Oh for fuck’s sake! Can we leave now, Yami? I didn’t need to see this.” 

_"Wait!"_ Yami smiled. “You will enjoy this.”

Meanwhile, Solomon continued to scream and sob, rambling about a 5 inch-tall, 13 year old Yugi.

_"NO!"_ Solomon screamed. “No, don’t drag me to _PLANET FITNESS! NO, YUUUUUUGII, NOO!!!”_

Yami walked away, carrying Yugi in his arms. “Happy birthday, partner!” 

“Thanks, Yami...now I have to commit him to the psych ward with the rest of your victims, but thanks.”

Yami kissed Yugi’s forehead. “You are welcome. Now...Let us go to the male strip club, and let the manager of the establishment take care of your abusive grandfather.”

And then Yugi took back control of the body and the pharaoh returned to the puzzle. Even though Yugi’s 18th birthday certainly didn’t go as planned, in a way, scoring that kiss from Yami was kind of...worth it.

Yugi smiled to himself, and practically skipped to the strip club. His friends followed, not wanting to talk to the police. 

“Um, Yuge…” Joey frowned. “Is your stupid Grandpa gonna be okay?”

“Don’t worry about him, Joey!” Yugi smiled. “It’s _my_ birthday, and _I_ get to spend it without him!”

Yugi opened the door of the male strip club. Yes it was only five o’clock, but that was the perfect time to get a lapdance. He gave the face of his puzzle a kiss, too.

“Yugi-poo, why are you kissing your puzzle? It must have germs all over it.” Tristan said. 

“Oh, damnit, Tristan. Don’t ruin my moment.”

“This is going on my blog later.” Téa said under her breath.

_I love when you go all Michael Myers, Yami._

**_I—what? Who? Are we talking about Shrek? That movie with that disgusting—_ **

_Nononono, like from Halloween._

**_Ah, okay._ **

_Thank you for killing my grandpa...in the mental sense._

**_You are welcome. I have been *dying* to do that for some time. HA-HA get it?_ **

Yugi sighed as another stripper gave him a lapdance. His friends sipped their drinks, staring. 

**_By the way, Yugi,_ ** the pharaoh whispered, **_I do in fact have another present for you._ **

Yugi paused. _Really?_

**_Yes. Meet me between our soul rooms tonight after the strip club._ **

Yugi blushed. _Yami—_

“Yuge, are you alright? Snap out of it, buddy!” Tristan slapped Yugi across the face.

“ _OW!_ Dammit, Tristan! I’m _fine!_ ”

“Okay! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUGE!” Tristan screamed. “GROUP HUG!”

Yugi’s friends (as well as the stripper) then hugged him tightly, nearly suffocating him, but Yugi decided to keep his complaints to himself this time. Even though his friends could be incredibly infuriating and obnoxious, and emotionally manipulative, at the end of the day, he still loved them. Plus he was most likely about to get an extra special present tonight.


End file.
